Everytime there is talk about the "love of your life" by anyone, The first person I think about is you, Ron. I just can't let it go, No matter how I know it might be better for us both.
CEF registered thoughts about Ron at 8/21/2009 08:08:00 PM
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Saturday, December 06, 2008
As I write this entry in my diary, I myself feel like a diary which has been left out in the rain, from which the moisture has washed away the cramped inky writing, the record of thousands of days and nights, leaving only a blank and sodden page.
Paul Torday, Salmon Fishing in Yemen
CEF registered thoughts about Ron at 12/06/2008 08:48:00 AM
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Thursday, November 22, 2007
如果说从这一年一个月又八天之间, 我一点也没有想过去的... 那是个谎言。
CEF registered thoughts about Ron at 11/22/2007 03:11:00 PM
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Saturday, October 14, 2006
We agreed that honesty will come first.
On a night like this, five years from 2001, I felt a need to express my concerns about the Collaboration Theory.
You know what everyone says about this, so I will skip what everyone thinks, and go on to express what I have been feeling for the longest time.
I would hate for you to be fiction.
That makes you a lie.
And her a liar.
Of course, it could be possible that there was someone else who was in this conspiracy together, but if I try to keep things simple, I may either be totally disgusted at this bad joke (if she did it deliberately), or be extremely worried about her schizophrenia (that she doesn't even know what she was doing).
I am not sure if I am more concern about you being a lie or her telling lies.
Afterall, it was not a simple story of two people talking online. There was more. There was the hospital stories and others that I would not mention now. I do remember every single one of them, unfortunately.
Perhaps what would make everyone (else) very happy, is that I silence myself forever. Perhaps people are already thinking that you are far far away from my mind. Afterall, I am doing quite a bit with my life.
But I just want to let whomever who comes across this post know that there is just no way I can handle this suspension : It hangs me like a noose around my neck.
On the other hand, what can one do to find an incomplete memory, in a world with 6.5 billion unknown faces? Not to mention that the only clue to it is all closed up.
Everyone knows I am not the best for play. It has been very difficult. It still is very difficult.
I have found the perfect place to tuck you to.
Wish me luck.
And remember this, I am doing it only because I have always said, As you wish.
CEF registered thoughts about Ron at 10/14/2006 12:25:00 AM
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[ PIECES OF JADE ]
>> Ramblings.
McKean met Leafy on mIRC in late June of 2001.
Leafy left for UK around August/September 2001.
Leafy left.
Leafy last sent an email to McKean in June 2002.
McKean finally left home for UK in June 2003.
But McKean has lost Leafy forever.
Leafy was the Ice-Queen, the RainbowFlag, the Fei,
the love of McKean's life.
>> Familar Blues.
You Belong To Me [Jason Wade/Vonda Shepard]
Tian Tian (Everyday) [David Tao]
Hallo [Lionel Ritchie]
When She Danced [David Foster]
You Come To My Senses [Chicago]
Xiang Ai Ni [David Huang Dawei]
Ni Ba Wo Guan Zui [David Huang Dawei]
Promise Me [Beverly Craven]
Our Story [Tension]
