Dear Ronnie,
Tried some pot on Friday but you were still on my mind. Maybe I didn't fag the right way.
Was working at Mardi Gras, but didn't spot anyone who could be you. Were you there? Hope you had fun despite the rain... I would have if I had good company and wasn't working. But I couldn't have paid �25 to get in if I weren't working, heh.
Be good.
CEF registered thoughts about Ron at 7/28/2003 12:31:00 PM
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Friday, July 25, 2003
Dear Ronnie,
Watched Billy Elliot with the housemates the other day, and felt alot about this letter presented in the show. Although the context and type of emotions/feelings involved are different, there are somethings that I can abstract from it. Hope you feel the same as you read what I've abstracted below.
Dear ...
I know I must seem like a distant memory to you.
Which is probably a good thing.
It will have been a long time.
And I will have missed seeing you grow,
missed you crying and laughing and shouting... ...
But please know that I was always there...
With you all through everything.
And I always will ... ...
And I am proud to have known you.
And I am proud that you were mine.
Always be yourself.
I love you for ever.
CEF registered thoughts about Ron at 7/25/2003 06:42:00 PM
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Wednesday, July 23, 2003
Xiuyan told me she'll bring me to smoke pot if I pop over to Amsterdam.
This Taiwanese girl told me pot will make your mind go blank,
And you'll need to try very hard to remember something.
Think that is what I need to forget you.
CEF registered thoughts about Ron at 7/23/2003 06:10:00 PM
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Sunday, July 20, 2003
Dearest Ron,
Been having lots of thoughts about us still.
Quite very blue.
Just need to tell myself that I ain't made for you.
CEF registered thoughts about Ron at 7/20/2003 03:04:00 PM
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Monday, July 14, 2003
Dearest Ronnie,
My mind has been in a turmoil, despite the fact that since our futures are so uncertain I really have no reason to be; there had been moments I wish someone would just show me the path to you, but other times I tell myself I need to be more logical & stop thinking about you.
I've been to a couple of places in Europe now, breathing the air that you did, seeing the stuff you've seen...
Was in Le Corbusier's Notre Dame du Haut in Ronchamp, this little town in France. It was a really nice chapel, and if I ever have a church wedding I wouldn't mind holding it there. Prayed for you again while I was there. While I was resting on the seats, I kinda dozed off a bit & there was a voice telling me that you ain't real & telling me to give up & let go. :(
Now I have two thoughts - either fate has played an evil joke on me, or somebody has chosen me as the object of his/her nasty prank.
Though the latter stinks more, both sucks.
Hope you are well.
CEF registered thoughts about Ron at 7/14/2003 04:18:00 PM
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Monday, July 07, 2003
Dearest Ron,
The strange bites have conquered my arms but I must perservere and not scratch them. There are tons over my thighs too and they do seem scary. Bought some stuff to apply, so just hoping they'll work. Esther, one of the people travelling with me is also suffering from it, but her bites(or allergy? we ain't sure)are much denser though smaller.
Was in Cinque Terra the past few days. The coast is so beautiful I wish you were there to see it with me. Had a bad dream about Van the other day so I gave her a call, but she was with her gf at Sentosa so I guess that also meant she could't talk. That was probably why she sounded cold. But things are ok for them now, so all is good. Wanted to ask about her Dad, cos her Dad's got some health problems (not sure if you know). But didn't get to. Oh well.
I am in Milano now. It is pretty boring a place, since I am not much of a shopper, and things here are real expensive. Will be heading to Switzerland tomorrow, but just a small town.
Was in the Duomo of Milano today and I did a selfish prayer - was asking Him to let you know that I miss you loads. It is weird how I use your religion and your God to say prayers yeah? *shrug*
Till I write again, hope your life is sunny as the summer of Italy.
CEF registered thoughts about Ron at 7/07/2003 08:31:00 PM
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Wednesday, July 02, 2003
Dearest Ronnie,
Bought a Rainbow Flag today that says PACE, so from now on I will have a Rainbow Flag with me. Hooray!
On the down side, I've been getting lots of weird bites (I thought they were bedbugs but Esther suggested rashes), but I have been making little stars of them. Familiar eh? Yeah, you always wanted little stars on your bites.
Also, I lost my notebook that contained some important contacts in London, and also a lot of thoughts (like the entry with the Xin Dong song was scanned from there.) Am pretty upset about it, but if it's fated to be so, then it shall be.
Wrote you a note the other day - Guess I am just waiting for the day I can pass it to you again. Kinda dumb, huh? It was just the other day Esther was saying how good guys always end last. If all the feelings I am having makes me a good guy, then I guess I will have a lot of waiting to do.
Stepped into quite a handful of cathedrals, despite me saying that I wouldn't step into another cathedral again for anyone I love... guess this round it is more for architectural/educational purposes? Anyway, I have been asking Him to watch over you, despite the fact that I ain't Catholic (but you are!) so hope life has been treating you good.
Been seeing lots of beautiful things, and everytime I see something that touches my heart, there is a tinge of heartache. I never really understood why there was this feeling, of sadness, of blue, until it dawned upon me that it was because I couldn't share that moment with you.
CEF registered thoughts about Ron at 7/02/2003 10:35:00 PM
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[ PIECES OF JADE ]
>> Ramblings.
McKean met Leafy on mIRC in late June of 2001.
Leafy left for UK around August/September 2001.
Leafy left.
Leafy last sent an email to McKean in June 2002.
McKean finally left home for UK in June 2003.
But McKean has lost Leafy forever.
Leafy was the Ice-Queen, the RainbowFlag, the Fei,
the love of McKean's life.
>> Familar Blues.
You Belong To Me [Jason Wade/Vonda Shepard]
Tian Tian (Everyday) [David Tao]
Hallo [Lionel Ritchie]
When She Danced [David Foster]
You Come To My Senses [Chicago]
Xiang Ai Ni [David Huang Dawei]
Ni Ba Wo Guan Zui [David Huang Dawei]
Promise Me [Beverly Craven]
Our Story [Tension]
