~ Letters to Leafy ~<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8">

Thursday, August 28, 2003

Dear Ronnie,
Found a job recently, which means I can stay in London for longer.
Possibly a greater chance of seeing Lady Luck, or rather, Lady Love, smile at me.
Sorry I fulfilled my promise late.
Hope life is as you wish.
Keep warm, autumn is on its way...

CEF registered thoughts about Ron at 8/28/2003 06:31:00 PM
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Friday, August 22, 2003

Dearest Ronnie,

Wrote another note to you yesterday night... Shall type it here now.
(Perhaps not the whole of it, as I have much editting to do to my blabber.)

It's been almost 2 years since you left.
Yet, it seems like yesterday.
I'm still amazed at how time flies, even though I speak of that all the time.
I can still remember sitting in front of my computer daily, still remember sending you text messages from the camps I went, writing you notes, scanning them & sending the images to you...
I can still remember the content of our arguments, not how quite how they start but how they always end...
I can still hear my own laughter, see my own smile, feel the pain, taste the tears, feel guilt from my follies...

Saw on Five's What Women Want a poem this guy wrote for the girl.
He registered a star in the galaxy in her name.

How can I remember you, when we haven't met?
How can I touch you, when we haven't hugged? ...
How can I love you, when we haven't kissed?...
Now I can see you, though from very faraway.
Now I can love you, because I've found the star...

Cheesy, yeah, but nevertheless an inspiration - another idea on top of the bench idea (shall keep the suspense for now).
What shall I name the star, Ronnie? It's almost as difficult as when you asked me I'll name my kids. Ok, I know it's suppose to be named after you.
*ponders*
Think I'll name the star...
Veronica Jade.
Sounds like a nice name for a star, doesn't it?
(Leafy Ron would sound too hiliarious.)
Perhaps it is a very cool star, a little distant from the sun... with an ice-queen status.
I'm not sure if I am allowed to choose, but if I am, I'll make sure it gives out a green tinge of light that pleases you.

M... ... ...s.

CEF registered thoughts about Ron at 8/22/2003 02:36:00 PM
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Thursday, August 21, 2003

Dearest Ronnie,
Your wise brotha posted this question.
What if Ron doesn't care anymore?
I have no idea, really. Absolutely no idea.

CEF registered thoughts about Ron at 8/21/2003 04:11:00 PM
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Wednesday, August 20, 2003

Dearest Ronnie,
I've decided that I will be the architect of the walls of SP that you broke down.
Mind Over Matter --- ironically, this is why my thoughts have disturbed me greatly.

CEF registered thoughts about Ron at 8/20/2003 12:37:00 PM
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Monday, August 18, 2003

Dearest Ronnie,

Thoughts have been raging in my head. I am very disturbed, to say the least.
Went for a walk yesterday, and I when I arrived back in Kim's I can't even recall what I saw, except for a certain hospital.
It was certainly not a nice looking place that could heal, at least from the exterior view... the inability to be with you when you're down is certainly one of the greatest regrets I have in my life.

Am I scaring you? Sometimes I can just imagine you picturing me as a bug which got stuck onto your hiking trip, that you wish you could get rid of now that the nature walk is over, but the bug just hides around you and makes sure it is unnoticed.

I'm confused, bestest friend. I'm being swallowed by the own turbulence of my thoughts. Turmoil.
Usually under such circumstances, there are 2 ways of going about things: Either people attain some enlightenment, or decadence sinks in.
I'm neither here nor there.

Don't wanna go on typing in a non-coherrent way, despite the fact I know you'll understand if you ever come by this page, so I shall end now.
May you be always loved, and always be happy.

CEF registered thoughts about Ron at 8/18/2003 01:45:00 PM
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Friday, August 15, 2003

Familiar names of people I've never met.
Familiar names of places that I've never been to.
Familiar feelings revolving around someone I've never seen.
This is London.

Dear Ron,
Had a dream that someone gave me your postal code,
And I was suppose to find out where that was.
Woke up realising it is a mad combination of postal codes,
Of where Kim and Mingchen lives respectively.
Came across some names of places,
And had the feeling you used to live near where I'm crashing at now.
But I can't feel anything in the air.

CEF registered thoughts about Ron at 8/15/2003 02:14:00 PM
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Tuesday, August 12, 2003

Dearest Ronnie,

Read that message Van left for me on thejerkclub? I ain't surprised by the content, more surprised by the fact she visited the blog. Anyway, here's the truth - you've gotten over it, and I'm still in twilight zone. Kinda ironic that her message should come now.

Well, well. What should I say? What can I say? Even if I am not entitled to the right of having you, I believe I am entitled to the right of letting my thoughts run freely, with or without you.

"Get over it."
Crisp, sharp and exact.
It's been two years.
If a simple message is all it takes, I don't know what I have spent the last 24 months of my life doing.

Don't know what I'm doing anymore, and maybe I don't care. I finally realised why you loved pretending to be a bimbo - so you have excuses not to think so hard.

Forgive me for what I've done, Ronnie, and do forgive me for what I am doing. And if I ever do anything in future that displeases you, please pardon me too. Even if you don't care, that's what I want you to know.

CEF registered thoughts about Ron at 8/12/2003 09:58:00 PM
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Saturday, August 09, 2003

Miss You Finally
Trademark

But I miss you finally
But I miss you finally
Try to remember all these years
We shared the love we shared the tears
Thought that forever it would be
I realize you lie to me
I still hold on
Still dream of days when we were one

You played with my heart
You played with my mind
But I miss you finally
Right from the start
My love made me blind
But I miss you finally

All of these promises you made
This 4 letter word it seems to...
Baby it's hard to understand
Now that you're gone
We reached the end
I still believe
Still dream of days when we were one

You played with my heart
You played with my mind
Right from the start
My love made me blind

CEF registered thoughts about Ron at 8/09/2003 09:42:00 AM
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Dearest Ronnie,
Thought about you today.

CEF registered thoughts about Ron at 8/09/2003 09:32:00 AM
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Wednesday, August 06, 2003

Dearest Ronnie,
Brotha Bin asked me, Do you think you'll ever get over Ron?
The scariest part was when I couldn't give a proper answer.
Sigh.
Wondering how you are...

CEF registered thoughts about Ron at 8/06/2003 10:33:00 PM
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Monday, August 04, 2003

Dearest Ronnie,
Read a poem in The Evening Standard today while job-searching.
Though it might be cheesy, but the boy wrote it for his nana, whom I think he must miss alot.
Shall dedicate it to you here.

I wrote your name in the sky,
The winds blew it away.
I wrote your name in the sand,
The waves washed it away.
I wrote your name it my heart,
And forever it will stay.

CEF registered thoughts about Ron at 8/04/2003 06:43:00 PM
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