Monday, April 26, 2004

Went to view a flat at Wandsworth the other day.
The bus passed by Nelson's column, down to Scotland yard, passing by the Big Ben and Westminister Bridge.
And somehow, the thoughts of you sparked off again, in a very nostalgic and melancholic way.
For awhile, it felt as if you are real, and that you are not a dream too far to reach.
Reality sank in rather quickly though, pulling me out of the sillyness of my thoughts.
Flat-viewing at Seven Sisters today, reminded me that we belong to two very different worlds.
While you are probably residing in the posh places like Chelsea, I will always be somewhere lesser.
While you are probably dining at The Ivy, I will probably be eating cheaply at home or at some small eatery.
While you are probably jetting around the world, doing your stuff, I am here calculating the vacation periods that I have and how much I can afford to go place.
While you can just drop whatever that happened & lead your own life, I am here oscillating between the forces of the past memories and the road that lies ahead, between the thoughts of you and the thoughts of losing the thoughts of you.
This is how different we are.
And hopefully this is enough to convince me that parting was a wise decision.

CEF registered thoughts about Ron at 4/26/2004 12:30:00 AM
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Friday, April 02, 2004

Dearest Ron,

I dreamt of you last night.
I can't remember much, except that we were just chilling out, walking around...
Like all dreams, this one had to end.
Like my dream 2 summers ago.

Said a prayer for you today, in St. Martin's.
Before this I had thought I'd never say a prayer ever again,
Especially not for you.
Anyway, hope prayers do work.

Love,
Me.

CEF registered thoughts about Ron at 4/02/2004 12:23:00 AM
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[ PIECES OF JADE ]

>> Ramblings.

McKean met Leafy on mIRC in late June of 2001.

Leafy left for UK around August/September 2001.

Leafy left.

Leafy last sent an email to McKean in June 2002.

McKean finally left home for UK in June 2003.

But McKean has lost Leafy forever.

Leafy was the Ice-Queen, the RainbowFlag, the Fei, the love of McKean's life.

She still is.

Leafy doesn't see what she left behind.

McKean does.

>> Twitches.

poetry
aug'01-2003
frames of thought


>> Familar Blues.

You Belong To Me
[Jason Wade/Vonda Shepard]
Tian Tian (Everyday)
[David Tao]
Hallo
[Lionel Ritchie]
When She Danced
[David Foster]
You Come To My Senses
[Chicago]
Xiang Ai Ni
[David Huang Dawei]
Ni Ba Wo Guan Zui
[David Huang Dawei]
Promise Me
[Beverly Craven]
Our Story
[Tension]

earlier letters
email CEF

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